Damn it

I’m getting sick. Why? WHY RIGHT NOW?!

I had many man odd dreams last night. Like.. wow.

First one:

I was fighting some people… in a room full of wine glasses. I managed to break none of them, why? Because I was fighting while dancing like a fucking ballerina. Really? Me… tutu? No. Just no.

Second one:

I was in a store that Marilyn Mason of all people owns. A group of people come in and start yelling at this smaller guy. You can tell they are gonna start a fight. So i walked up to the biggest of them all and grabbed a hand full of his mass of frizzy curly hair. He started to do that ” I’m going to kick your ass” thing and one of his friends informed him it was a girl doing this. He didn’t believe it turns around and I’m there smiling and wave at him. He gets all pissy so for some reason it seemed like a good idea to just leap onto him and start bitch slapping him in the face over and over. It was rather funny. Then I told every one planning to steal to get the hell out and every one in the store like books it with the shit in their hands. I started tackling people. Two of them being really short people. Kinda funny to see.

Third one: I was crossing the new bridge before it was truly built. So there were massive gaps. I had to balance and monkey bar it all the way across. Then I get to this fairy that my entire school is on and we are going on a trip some where. And for some odd reason me and some other people are having a race while the fairy is swaying back and forth. I am used to this sway I lived on floating houses. So it was all easy to run with. We get to the end of the race and we are looking out over the ocean and I swear to god it was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. We just stare at it for a while then the other people leave and WTF Shane shows up and starts cuddling and for some reason I am looking at guitar notes. And ok this is just weird Shane starts writing down the note as they are played and for some reason this relates to guitar hero and rock band… because I looked at him and said ” Really?! REALLY?! Never playing that game near you… ever. ” And then I woke up.

So weird…. so.. so weird.

[Edit]

Fuck allergies. Why do I have to be allergic to metal? I have 3 rashes right now. 3 itchy fucking rashes, that I will scratch. When I scratch I cut… and then bleed. AND OH BOY!!!! Get scars. God.. I got all my moms shitty fucking allergies bread and metal. No one else got them just me…. DAMN YOU BROTHERS FOR GETTING THE GOOD END OF THE STICK IN EVERY WAY!!!

Lets top that off with a little PMS and you have the best fucking day ever.

Save your popsicle sarcasum…

So today was slightly retarded.

Jason spazed out. It was just grand to hear him voice his assholeness at me.

” At least we know what we want!”
” AHHA no you dont!”

” Well at least we feel shit and don’t just move the fuck on right away like the cold hearted things you are! Girls are stupid!”

Wow have did I ever want to leave. I also had an urge to bash him in the head. Hard. Honestly… the guy is pissed because I am happy. That really isn’t fare to be pissed about. I haven’t been happy since I was in elementary school. The first fucking time in ages and he spazes. THANKS FOR CARING JACK ASS! He is more deceiving than most girls I know. Like one moment hes ok being near me and one wrong word will send him off on this depression spiral and then hes all moody. And then suddenly HE IS OK AGAIN! >_< Fuck… FUCK ARGH I honestly don’t know what to do other then say ” FUCK IT!” and leave. Just fucking end trying to be his friend. Honestly I tried, and I have kept trying… and I keep getting this. I like it better when people are blunt I can handle that. Like when my ex told me to my face he hated me. S’all good. I knew where we stood. And the best part? Him and I are actually friends now!! But Jason I swear to fucking god is just fucking this up with pissy moody behavior.

I really should start my art history essay, its due Friday and I have yet to even research my topic. I HAVE TILL MIDNIGHT THOUGH >_>(yes I am totally fucked I am aware)

Well then.

Apparently I can send incoherent text messages while I sleep. We can add that to the weird list of things I do when I sleep.

-Sit up with my eyes open and hold a perfectly normal conversation

-Scream

-Walk around

-Text

-Flail uncontrolably

-Sleep with my eyes open

I am feeling particularly awesome… I’m wearing suspenders AND leg warmers(over jeans) go me. Go me.

[Edit]

I hate sound poets. Seriously.

SHANE I LIKE YOU SO BAD I SAID IT IN MY BLOG!!!!

this

Was the lamest day ever. But I did clean my room =D And stretched and cracked about 10 times it felt good till my ass started to ache. Thats why we don’t do that in small rooms.

blah

So today was lame. I stood behind a jewelry counter… or 8 hours. FUCK IM COOL. I got some guys number XD. Apparently I stand out at work because I don’t have bleached hair and make-up and slouch. Not sure why he decided to talk to me really. I looked grumpy un-washed and rather boyish. This is why boys are strange.

Now I really should be doing my many many essays. But I am far to stressed and tired to do them. Even though I probably won’t sleep much tonight because I don’t feel like sleeping, I just wanna sit here and do nothing but think. About nothing particular just think. I have ignored my thinking for a while I might need to do so again.

I was bit in the face yesterday. It rather hurt. I wish it to never happen again. Ever.

I had a dream that I was driving with Dawn to Calgary. I knew where I was going when I was with her. But some how she turned into Brittany and Maryann. Once this happened I had no idea where I was going. So I have decided, Dawn is my sense of direction. Shane… the destination. Brittany and Maryann…. well I don’t know. The people that sit in the back of my car? Well SUV in the dream. Does that mean that it will be a bumpy ride?

I will fail English. It will be glorious listening to my step mom. I get enough of her trying to figure out why I fail at academics this won’t help at all. I hope I pass art history or I will get reamed out. -sigh- I hate school.

Lots…

Let us update…

Ok just because I am bored and don’t wish to do what I should be… we shall recap the year thus far. Much has happened I figure I may as well do this.

Starting from the 01/01/2008 I booted my friends out of my house after having them crash at my place so they could do their drinking thing. Then I headed to Castelgar. It was grand I suppose mind you the only people I knew were my ex and his mom. Then on the 4th Jason and I were going to my moms place. YAY CAR ACCIDENT! I got to go to the hospital and get checked out to make sure my spine was ok. First ambulance ride. It hurt more than the shock of hitting another car at 70 km/h. And there was pain from every object I lifted or move I made. I started the year off great! I even got to be forced into counselling. GLEE!

02/2008… Things didn’t look up at all. I found I failed art history miserably and CCS. I break up with my ex for the first time. I think I horrified him when i started laughing hysterically and sobbing at the same time. My brain was shutting down. I took a depression test with the counceller. I scored 34/40. If that were a test in class I would have been thrilled. But this one showed I was severely depressed. my counceller was afraid to let me drive. And made an appointment to see the nurse practitioner at the school.

03/08 So I take anti-depressants. I have to be checked every month to make sure I’m not suicidal. Jason and I break up again. I think I felt my insides tear apart this month. I actually had to stop driving because I thought I was going to swerve into other cars. I broke down on the phone with my parents and had to move back in with them. I have no money at this point. $7 was my account balance. I stopped eating for 2 days, and the rest of the time I had to force myself to eat. My dad checked my place to make sure I was eating. I couldn’t sleep very much. Like I never slept before but to sleep 4 hours and have night mares when I was sleeping? WTF!?

04/08 <3 I feel better, thank you. Soon I will get to see you. But I made my self sad by my own art to do with my thoughts. And a girl from high school passed away. R.I.P. Tristin.

Thats the year in a nut shell. >_< It needs to be the end of April now.

There is no sleep for the tired.

Thank god I function better when I don’t sleep.

I believe my English teachers face doesn’t change. I have never seen her really smile the kind of smile that reaches her eyes. It just looks the same all the time. Her voice kind of changes but her face is the same… all the time.

And in art history my phone started playing a movie I took earlier…. It was horrible everyone looked at me even the teacher stopped at the retarded sounds coming from my crotch area.  Speaking of crotch area. I yelled at my crotch today. I thought I saw a stain on my pants so I just yelled ” BASTARD!”

I need to cut my toe nails. They have gotten way to long for normalcy. They snag on my socks when I put them on.

As a final note… <3

Ouch

First thing to happen in class my friend Serena pulls out a bagel sammich and offers me some. Of course I cannot eat this so I say no. Her reply? ” You know what I love? Gluten MMMMMMM!!!”

Pretty sure I gave her the saddest look ever because she looked like she felt awful. Later I though of a good come back though… ” You know what else tastes good? AIR!!!-choke-”

I’m doing my painting…its the ugliest thing ever. Really its an abortion of my brain right now. Maybe I will put a picture up because its THAT ugly people must see how bad a painter I am.

I slept last night. WOW I’m a bigger freak when I get sleep than when I don’t I make less sense and giggle more often than need be. I run better with no sleep its awesome.

I hate my life right now. I have 3 essays, a 3d project, and a portfolio due for next week. The week after I have 3 exams and a portfolio due. Pretty sure I’m gonna be at the school for a few nights to get this shit done in time. -sigh- Fuck you school I don’t know why I go to school any more.

I don’t think I can stand being near you any more. I’m very done with you ruining the happiness I haven’t felt since I was too little to remember.

In class

We are talking of a glowing bunny. I want a glowing bunny…. It would be so fucking cool to have a pet that glows in the dark. Really. You could walk your dog at night and it would be the flash light. And WOW lets be done with this conversation the bunny is a green fucking super hero. MOVE ON THANK YOU!!!

Regardless I hate this class and the only thing I have gotten from it is a glowing bunny today. Thank you msn you help me ignore this lameness.

A Joke

I created this in April Fools… my blog is a joke to the world. Score.